Prevailing

As I was out for one of my Monday runs in the Tararua forest park, I found myself wondering about the concept of prevailing. The train of thought went something like this: Wow! That southerly wind is bitterly cold – got to keep moving as fast as possible to make sure I don’t catch a cold… Why is it that the southerly is so much more noticeable than the Northerly when the Northerly is the prevailing wind… Of course where the wind comes from is critical… Isn’t it interesting that the northerly is prevailing yet it’s not necessarily the strongest or the coldest? There must be something vital in life about consistently moving in a particular direction?

So as tends to happen when I’m out in wide open spaces allowing my mind to be free, I started searching for the lessons. Here’s what I came up with:

1. Tree’s grow with the prevailing wind, but are often destroyed by the winds that come against them from a different angle, because they’re simply not ready for what they encounter. They’ve spent so much energy growing and being strong for what they most commonly are stressed by, that when something new comes along is causes major distress. Sometimes we’re probably pretty similar, which is why we tend to cling to the familiar – yet paradoxically the strongest individuals we come across are often those who have lived a little and weathered many of life’s storms. Perhaps we need to take a more balanced look at life’s storms and re-image them positively as the things that make us stronger. Interestingly being out in a storm is either horrific and horrible , or one of those things that you embrace (some even chase them) and wind up really reminding you, you’re alive! But it’s always easy to re-image the storms positively as an experience in retrospect – our memory is imperfect in that we tend to rose tint things.

2. Beware of where the forces in life are coming at you from. In knowing where they come from, you know what to expect and you can anticipate your ability to weather them. Or make plans and preparations for faring better against the storm. Ask any farmer – they’re usually experts at this, and will shift their stock to different paddocks etc depending on what direction the storm is coming from in order to weather better.

3. Consistency builds strength, coping and resilience in that direction. While it’s important to build greater resilience in all directions (see point one above); it’s also true that we want to develop and enhance our ability to weather the things that consistently plague our ability to remain strong. For example if my issue was consistent neck pain, it might be appropriate for me to selectively develop better control and perhaps power or strength in my neck as that’s the most common ‘wind that blows against me.’ I’d be more able to cope with life if I was consistent in that. Equally, the simple fact that it’s a consistent companion makes it sometimes easier to cope with if there is a management strategy that works! Conversely it’d flatten me if the management strategy didn’t work.

I hope this is a helpful story – If you need help prevailing against whatever life has thrown you lately, give one of our team a call – we’d be happy to help.

Sometimes you’re pulled along. Sometimes you’re the puller.

Earlier this week I went for my weekly Monday night run with my spotty little friend (Nico). Nico is a 1year old Dalmatian and generally speaking, just bursting with energy. I bought him as an insurance policy for my cardiovascular health – so that I would be forced to endure utter chaos at home, or run his energy off him. To be fair we’re probably somewhere in the middle and I’m not convinced that the exasperation from finding the latest thing he’s chewed to pieces offsets the heart benefits of regular exercise. But we’ll roll with it. Maybe in time he’ll teach me patience as well.

Anyway we were out running in the dark, in the wind and the torrential rain in Holdsworth forest park and I found myself musing about how sometimes in life we’re having to pull others along – sometimes it’s those who stop to catch a breath, or to marvel at the most interesting sensory experience (in Nico’s case probably the faint scent of another animal). Either way, I found myself wondering who’s perspective was more healthy – his of constant exploration, or mine of slow and steady constant movement in a particular direction? Jury’s out I think!

And then going up the hill I found myself in role reversal – not pulling him along, but being pulled. More than once way off the trail (the lesson is that even when it’s pelting with rain, it’s important to look up and check that you’re on the right course from time to time!). And again I found myself wondering about the consistency between that experience and normal life. It’s true that sometimes we pull others along with our momentum. At other times we’re pulled along by them. I think that’s probably a fundamentally healthy perspective.

To take it a step further, I wonder if we’re self aware enough to hold some space around Shakespeare’s words:

“to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man”

If we’re honest with ourselves then there’s probably times when not only are we pulled along by others but where we’d do well to ask to be pulled along. But it’s a hard thing asking for help. Especially in our culture which lifts up the self-made individual and in doing so, subtly implies that the co-dependants are somehow lesser mortals. Broken and in need of repair. But I meet such people every day. That’s my job!

But while we’re being honest, I’m all too aware of my own frailty at times. The truth is, there’s no such thing as self-made. We’re all co-dependant to a certain extent. Sometimes you pull me along. And other times I’ll pull you. Not because of our position. Not because of control. Not because we’re broken (though perhaps temporarily slowed down). Not for any reason, but because we’re strongest when we work together to achieve our overall direction. Because that’s what it is to be human. To work in cooperation with others. This is what makes a healthy relationship – with a health professional, or anyone else.

Here’s to pulling and being pulled! And my spotty teacher. I’ll get him a bone to say thanks. If you need pulling in any particular direction – Please ask us, we’re only too happy, to help.